Manly Man, in which I'm Not One

There is standing water in the bottom of our dishwasher.

Now, if you're like me, you need someone to point this fact out to you, and you also need that same someone to inform you that it is probably not ok to go ahead and run another load of dishes when the dishwasher is in such a state.

It became necessary for me to do what any befuddled and over matched home owner would do in a situation like this.

Google. (Actually, I didn't google it, Jessica did.)

From the internets I learned that sometimes standing water in the bottom of a dishwasher can be solved by thoroughly soaking up the water, removing a number of parts, and using a combination of baking soda (SODA! not powder, I now have a large can of baking powder that will be thrown away in a couple years) and vinegar. Homemade, dishwasher safe, Drano, or something.

The same web page informed me that if this solution doesn't do the job after multiple treatments, my dishwasher has bigger problems. Mechanical problems. Problems that require someone with the title "Technician" to come and solve.

Or maybe perhaps it just means it's time for a new dishwasher... (wishful thinking)

Over Memorial Day weekend, Jessica's dad busied himself with remodeling her parents' home and adding a wall in their basement to create another bedroom. My sons were understandably fascinated, even enthralled with the project. Well, I guess not all of my sons; Lewis is mostly enthralled with eating and pooping right now. But the others, especially Morgan, were entertained for hours watching and, ahem! helping their grandpa with this project.

At one point, Morgan said to Grandpa, "You are really good at building things. My dad isn't good at building things." Then, after thinking it over, he said, "He's good at laundry and dishes."

Which, I guess, considering the state of our one kitchen appliance, isn't such a bad thing.

Sensitivities, in Which Morgan Feels Sad

"Come watch this, Dad. Mario dies."

So I walk over to the computer to see what Josh is talking about. It's one of his online games that he plays, based on Super Mario Brothers. This game ends with a (very pixelated) video of Luigi walking up to a grave, and on the headstone is a picture of Mario with the caption: Mario, Brother, Friend, HERO. Luigi has tears in his eyes, and he places a picture of he and Mario on the grave. That one song from Titanic plays in the background.

I watched with him, and Morgan and Jack were there too. Jack laughed as loud as he could, as he is wont to do at something he doesn't understand. But Morgan watched quietly and then turned himself into the crook where the desk meets the wall, and covered his face with his hands. I pulled him to me and he had huge crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks. I just held him and let him cry.

Mood, in which I'm in One

They call me mellow yellow.

Quite...

It's more citrus-y than Mt. Dew.

Wendover commercials drive me crazy. I've never been there, and heaven willing, will never have to go there. I don't need a rev-rev-rev-rev-revolution.

As has been noted elsewhere, we are expecting a fourth mini-Holdinator. Josh has suggested his name of choice: Wood Breaker. When I mentioned the one Jess and I have been discussing, he expressed displeasure.

I guess we could use this list.

(My vote would be for Joe (beard))

But, you say, I thought that you were in retirement.

I think I used the conditional term semi-

And if I didn't, I intended to. So there. Most of these thoughts are less than 140 characters, by the way.

Morgan has a shiner. I don't have a picture of it, but it was the result of a dressing accident (why wouldn't it be?). It's hard to stay balanced when your pants are only half-on and you're trying to twist/jump/run because that's what you do. And if there's a metal garbage can nearby, well, watch out.



I don't remember what their malady was here, but they sure are cute.

It's probably not good form to make two observations about commercials in one post, but any commercial that includes slowly rotating people, especially with shiny faces and mullets, ought to not be on TV.

Unintentional Comedian, in which, well, You'll See

Setting: Our Kitchen. Jack and Morgan are sitting at the table playing, I'm at the sink, and Josh is following me every step as he is wont to do when he is eager for me to play a video game with him.

Josh: Dad, are you done cleaning the kitchen yet?
Me: Not yet buddy.
Josh: How much do you have left? Just wiping off the table?
Me: And all these dishes.
Josh (observing the sink full of dishes): It would go faster with two people.
Me: Yeah, it would.
Josh: Why don't you ask Morgan to help you?
Me: Ha!
Josh: What? You should ask Morgan.

Doggie Sneezes, in which Holdinator thinks a bug flew up Annie's nose

I feel kind of bad, but it was really funny.As you can tell, she's not terribly impressed with my posting about this.

And now for something completely different.

"Dude, this is my first day of Kindergarten. Just chill, ok?""Where's my cupcake? I just had it!"
-Insert your own witty comment here-

Gene pool

I realized something the other day. To illustrate my epiphany, a story.

I was assembling something that came with instructions, and as I pulled the different pieces out of the box, Morgan quickly picked up a piece and showed me where it went. It was the part to assemble. He just knew. And he was right.

Joshua, on the other hand, during the 20 or so minutes while I was putting the rest of the thing together, was carefully studying the pictures in the instructions (or "constructions" as he calls them, though in my hands they may as well be called destructions). Just as I was finishing the assembling of the project, Joshua took the same piece Morgan had and said, "I think this goes here," showing me the same thing Morgan had shown me just by looking at the stuff.

And so, I regret to inform you that Joshua has inherited my talents and inabilities when it comes to common things dudes are supposed to be able to do. Whereas Morgan has inherited the mad skills of J's brothers, one of whom overhauled an engine or replaced a transmission or something when he was 10.

Sorry, Josh.

Yeah, But what about when it really happens

I'm all about talking the talk.

In Elders' Quorum today we discussed Elder Wirthlin's last Conference talk, "Come What May and Love It," and I made some comments about how we should enjoy the every day things that we do with our families, particularly our children, who can sometimes be a little frustrating.

Then this evening, as J was getting ready to go to work, we came upstairs to find Morgan hysterical and saying something about, "Clean it up, Daddy!"

We followed him into the bathroom where there was an inch of water on the floor. He had put nearly an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet and flushed.

This is something we have tried to help him learn not to do, inasmuch as he is currently in potty training mode and these kinds of temptations are around. But he doesn't learn such things very easily.

Or, at all.

I got most of the water mopped up and then went to try and fix the toilet. In my attempts to do so, more water ended up on the floor, which I cleaned up.

(Oh, all this while poor little Jack had to sit in his high chair and try to be entertained, though he was really in the mood to be held.)

Just when I was very nearly done mopping up the water for the second time, Morgan came running toward me there in the bathroom (I do not know what for), slipped, and knocked the mop bucket of dirty toilet water over.

Yeah, come what may, and love it.

Maybe tomorrow.

This one's for Shel

Did you read Shel Silverstein poems as a kid? There was one where this kid tells his teacher, "I growed another head," to which his teacher responds, "It's time you knowed, the word is grew instead of growed."

In the spirit of this poem I present to you a part of a conversation that Joshua and Morgan had about the word "think."

Morgan: "I'm sinking, I'm sinking, I'm sinking that I don't want to do that."
Joshua: "Morgan, not sinking, sinking is bad. FINK, Morgan, you're finking."

Subconscious trumps Reality at 3 am

I dreamt that we really needed to find someone to give a refrigerator and a dryer to. It was crucial that we do this, so when J woke me up to help take care of little Jack, I wanted to ask her who we should give these appliances to so I could figure it all out in my dream. I was stuck on that thought, and felt very anxious to resolve the problem...

The magic is gone:

Have you ever noticed when shopping somewhere where they print your savings on your receipt, that when the checker circles your savings they seemingly don't have a writing instrument in their hands. I noticed this all the time at Smith's. And every time it happened I would think, "Ah! They must have a pencil lead stuck to the end of their finger that they use to circle these things. Next time I come I'm going to pay closer attention and see if I can see how they hide that tiny pencil, or maybe even pen." But then the next time I would go, I'd forget until the magic occurred again. As it turns out (and this is something I've learned at work, because we circle savings on our receipts, after all at Seagull you never, and I mean NEVER pay full price...), receipt paper is made of carbon stuff that shows marks on it when pressure is applied, so the pressure from, say, a fingernail could leave what appeared to be a pencil or ink mark. 

Perhaps that's really more magic than the tiny writing thing taped to the finger. I mean, seriously, that would just be obvious. THIS, my friends, is true magic at work. Paper that doesn't require a pen!

Sometimes my kids say really funny things. 

Like Morgan (Mini #2) who says all his f's as s's, so the word funny is pronounced sunny.

It's so sunny!

Ten Years Looking Back

So we rang in the new year. J worked, so I was home with Mini Holdinator #3 (1 and 2 were asleep) when the two-hour delayed film of the ball dropping played on TV.

I have no idea what 2009 holds in store, but if you'll bear with with (endure it well friends), I've really been thinking a lot about New Years ten years ago.

Ten years ago I celebrated New Years at the Wilk on BYU campus. I don't know if they still do this, but back then there was a huge multi-stake dance at BYU on New Years Eve for the youth. I distinctly remember talking with my friend Yvonne about how this next year would be huge. 

For one thing, I knew that I'd be graduating from high school. Somehow high school graduation seemed like one of the most significant transitions I could make. And it turned out it was.

I also knew that by the end of the year I'd be serving a mission somewhere ... it turned out to be Michigan. But that change, from no responsibilities punk to full-time ecclesiastical work, was pretty daunting to consider.

But as it turned out, there was one thing that happened that year that has had more profound influence on the past ten years than anything else. 

It was a hike to the Y.

From that vantage point I struck up a conversation with a kid from Southern California who was planning on starting a punk band when his friend (who played bass) moved up to Utah that summer. They would need a drummer, and I agreed to play with them and see how things worked out.

Things worked out pretty well with that band; we became best friends, and through those associations I met J.

1999.

Yeah, it was great.

Are You Really Posting At 5:45 am?

Yes.

Because the two older Mini Holdinators decided they were either getting up with daddy or waking up the youngest Holdinator in the process of trying to talk sense into them.

So, for some early morning merriment, I present you with Porky Pig singing "Blue Christmas."

Eyes of Pink

I don't think you can see it that well, but I caught some pink eye from one of the kids. It's in the eye that is half shut. 

Anyway, this is a good shot of Jack's bulldog cheeks.

Oh yeah, and I chose the Seagull Book job. It pays slightly less (in the short term, but that will change when I become a store manager), but has much more affordable health insurance. It's a smaller company than the bank, but that means much less bureaucracy. The potential for growth in the company exists with both, but is more certain with Seagull. The schedules are comparable. The US Bank was an in-store branch, which means it is open extended hours and open most federal holidays, and there was a requirement of all bankers to hand out at least 100 fliers to in-store shoppers each week. 

And then there was this factor: When I got offered the job with the bank, I was extremely excited ... because someone offered me a job. When I got offered the job with Seagull I was really excited too ... because it was a job that I really wanted and know I would enjoy.

So, yeah. I start Monday. 

And I finished another book by A J Jacobs, this called The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World. He accomplished this feat by reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I recommend it.

Do You Need Apples?

We've got some fruit trees in our backyard. There's an apricot tree that drops all its fruit just before it goes ripe, a peach tree that produces two good peaches a year and 500 rotten ones, a pear tree (or maybe two I forget), and two apple trees. This year one of the apple trees did really well (no thanks to me, I only watered the lawn half the summer as J will tell you).

But anyway, we've got an abundance of apples. So the other night I thought I would use some of these apples to add a little crunch to one of my favorite things.I give you the apple quesadilla.This guy approved.
J had me make her a quesadilla with peanut butter and bananas. But without the cheese maybe it's not so much a quesadilla as a pbbdilla.
How did I not know about this? For most of my life I had no idea that such a beautiful and wonderful thing existed. I somehow survived two years as a missionary eating melted cheese on a tortilla done in the microwave... without anything else. All I had to do to make it a million times better was mix some salsa and sour cream together.
This guy opted for something entirely different. Pasta Alfredo with broccoli. He mostly likes that broccoli.
The point is, we have lots and lots of apples if you're hungering for some.

More Like...

Here are pictures of Mini's #1 and #2 when they were about the same age as Mini #3 is now.

Who is he going to look like? Mini #1

Mini #2

Mini #3

Luke warm

This is my Jerry Sloan face. It needs some work, but I think it's pretty good.

I shaved three days in a row this last week. It had something to do with job interviews. I may still get offered one of those jobs, but the other one won't work out because I failed a sales proficiency test that asked questions such as, "Do you like to force people into decisions they may not want to make?"

At least 20 questions were very similar to that, and I answered no when if I wanted the job I should have said yes.

Just before getting the phone call informing me that I didn't get said job, we went to this place with big inflatable toys that even I was allowed to play on. It was awesome, and totally exhausting. 
This is me and Mini #1 after playing at this place. 

Then this morning it was 59 degrees in our house because someone, probably a very small someone, shut off the furnace. There's a switch on the furnace unit in our bedroom closet/utility closet, and Mini #2 really likes to play with that switch.

Incidentally, he also likes to play with the thermostat on the water heater which is also in the same closet (we try to keep him out of there, but sometimes he sneaks in quickly and does his business before we realize what happened). Thanks to his interest in the water heater this morning, after trying to warm up a little in our chilly house, I took a very chilly shower because the water heater was turned all the way down past the "vacation" setting.

Sniff

A little while ago Mini #2 was eating his breakfast in his high chair.

Golden Grahams (tm or whatever).

He was toward the end of enjoying this bowl full of enriched sugary goodness, and I noticed something.

Golden Grahams milk has a very particular smell. It smells different than any other kind of milk.

I think it's probably the same for any cereal. They each have their own milk smell.

And flavor.

Which made me think, what's my favorite flavor of cereal milk? Certainly Lucky Charms makes really delicious milk, as does Cookie Crisp.

I can't decide.

What's your favorite flavor of cereal milk? I think I know Gatsby's (Reeses Cereal), but I don't know about the rest of you.

Huh!

I probably wanted to do it mostly because I thought it would be a lot of fun. But I think there was a little selflessness involved too.

About a year ago we bought bunk beds for Mini's 1 and 2. But we didn't have the beds on top of each other because the one used as a top bunk made a great toddler bed for Mini 2, what with the side rails and all. But the other day I decided it would be fun, and both boys were probably big enough respectively to use it (Mini 1 to use the top bunk and Mini 2 to use the bottom one without falling out), so with the help of J's sister, we got the beds together.

But there is one challenge involved now.

You see, both boys go to sleep at night in our bed. Then we carry them into their room and put them in their own beds and (ideally) that's where they stay for the rest of the night.

So this requires me to heft Mini 1 up and over the rails of the top bunk, a height of more than six feet I'm sure. Now, I've been known for my extremely buff thumbs (just ask J), but this is requiring me to work on my, um, lats or something.

But it's tough, you see.

I'm a manly man.

Even if I did shave that goatee thing off.

HUH!!

Minis Skip to the Lu

We've considered getting some of these for Mini #3. They're supposed to protect you during diaper changes.
They're called "pee pee tee pees".

The other night Mini #2 woke up and had no diaper on. I clearly remembered girding his loins with one the evening before (in spite of what J may say). He was wearing one of those one piece pajama things that zip up the front, so losing a diaper would seem impossible. I then remembered that the night before, after getting Mini #2 ready for bed he had gone upstairs and enjoyed some gold fish crackers in the kitchen. When I went up to get him and bring him downstairs there was an unused, yet open, diaper of his on the kitchen floor. I assumed he had got it from the living room and been playing with it, but on further consideration I figured he must have unzipped his pajamas, taken the thing off, and zipped them back up while he was upstairs alone.

Or maybe I just forgot to gird him. That could be too.

The other morning Mini #1 came running downstairs very excited about showing me something. "Come see my poopoo, Daddy! It's so big!!" I ran with him upstairs while he told me about how "huuuuge" his poop was and observed the work in the toilet. Sure enough, he had pooped a very big poop.

Later I found out from J's sister, whose bedroom is next to the upstairs bathroom, that he had called for me for about five minutes thusly, "DADDY! COME LOOK AT MY POOPOO! DADDY! IT'S SO BIG! COME ON DADDY!!" before she got up and suggested that he come find me and tell me.

10 is Not Really That Big

Three times today.

Twice at the  pediatrician's office and once at Shopko.

(Oh, that reminds me, Mini #3 is growing a lot and has gained a whole pound and stretched an inch in his two weeks of living.)

J was wearing sandals, and I stepped on her toe once, then as I was handing Mini#3 to her I rammed my shoe into her other foot catching her big toenail and bending it back a little, then I ran over one of her feet with a shopping cart.

What's wrong with me?

And on another note, I have a quiz for you:

Why would Mini #2 use the first person possessive pronoun ("my") to say that he's done doing something (eg. "My all done" instead of "I'm all done")?

I will answer this, if no one figures it out before hand, in a few days.

Long Night

Last night when we went to bed, this is who was in our bed:This dude (yours truly, Holdinator himself)

And this really cute girl

But when we woke up this morning (you know, to get up and start the day, not just to get up for a minute or two to change diapers and/or feed a baby), a few others had joined us, including:

Mini #3, who is still learning the value of sleeping without direct contact with his mommy

Mini #2, who likes to turn so his body is stretched between us with his head by my head and his feet by J's headMini #1, who crawled into the bed sometime between 4 and 6 this morning; I'm really not sureThis guy. He purrs so loud he could wake the deadAnd then this guy, who is only comfortable when he is laying on top of someone's chest, and he's a really fat cat

If you haven't been keeping score, that's two people in bed to begin the night, and seven in bed in the morning.