Stache, in which We are Growing Them

What is that? Josh's Mario mustache from his Halloween costume. But it reminds me, my mom is sending my brothers and me to an NFL game on November 17th. We are celebrating this in a number of ways, one of which will be by growing out our mustaches. From November 1st through the 17th our razors will ignore our upper lips, and we will no doubt be causing many people to feel uncomfortable around us.

But all in good fun!

So, to document the progress of the aforementioned mustache growing, I plan on blogging daily, including a picture showing all the hard work my stubble is putting in.



Here I am this evening. I shaved this morning, but NO MORE! At least not for the next 16 days.

Toe Stubbing, in which it made me think of

Children have a very egocentric worldview. (A word of caution, I will not be looking up any term that I use to see if I am using it correctly. I'm feeling very lazy right now. I'm dealing with it, and you ought to as well.) Children think that anything that happens, anything that they are aware of happening anyway, happens as a direct result of something that they have done.

For example, it's raining outside, therefore they must have done something to make it rain, like spit too much or something.

I am a child, or am very childish. Probably that last one.

I stubbed my toe a few minutes ago, and my first thought was that I was being punished for something I had done wrong.

I did not (at least not immediately) consider that I might just be clumsy. Or that my big feet are prone to bumping into walls sometimes.

Not that my feet are really big. In fact, I would say that my feet are very average in size.

How do I know this?

I know people (men) who have feet that are bigger than mine, and other men who have feet that are smaller than mine.

So since my feet aren't big (like those I know with bigger feet) or small (like those I know with smaller feet), they must be average.

That's as far as my thinking went on this subject.

But earlier in a series of tweets I said something that may or may not be related:

Sometimes humor doesn't translate. Like when you give humor a book written in French and tell it that you would like to read the book in English. Thanks for nothing, humor.

Baby Names? in which Holdinator finds this list in Jessica's handwriting on their computer desk:

Myke
Rich
Patricia
Denise
Jiri
Sheryl
Ellycia
Wendy
Amy
Penny
Maryann
Tracy
Joe (beard)
Joe
Linda
Jocelyn
Jeffrey
Ugly Frog
Jenn
Kevin
Tim
Christine
Val
Jodi
Karla
Nacho Gomez
Wendy J
Amy T
Dreamer Enchanted
Brenda B
Jeanne
Julia
Candice
Cheab

But here's the thing: she's not pregnant.

Gene

Oh deary deary dear.

Someone Found It!

It may have been after a long journey seeking for wisdom. Struggling up the side of a steep mountain and finding the house of knowledge at the top.

And inside was this.

And yes, I would advise you to imagine the guru dressed like a certain BYU professor who wears thick glasses, bow ties, and high waters.

Eleven years ago on this day, June 13th, my friends and I went to what was supposed to be an outdoor concert called Mutiny on the Beach. The Aquabats were headlining.

It was a cold rainy day, so the show was moved to Salt Air.

We left early, before the Aquabats played, in part because to stay we would have had to suffer through an entire set from some band called Cannibal Corpse, or Cannibal Cafe, or something to do with cannibalism.

The lead singer wore leather pants and no shirt over his ghastly-white belly. But his waist-length greasy black hair covered his face. The keyboardist, or maybe it was the guy playing the electric drum set, wore a gas mask. And the one song we listened to before deciding enduring more bands like this (there were six or something) wasn't worth it, had one line, and one line only.

"You make me ... do this!"

over and over and over

Happy Mutiny on the Beach Day!!

I googled my name.

There is a cardiologist in Maryland that shares my name.

And an attorney... somewhere.

Sometime I'll have to write about my dislike of phone conversations.

Extreme dislike, that is.

New Idea

I had a sudden burst of inspiration the other day for a musical project. I'd call it "Brian Singing the Nineties while Eating Pizza."

It would be a collection of popular nineties alternative hits sung by yours truly with a mouth full of delicious cheesy pizza.

I think it would be a hit.

guess what I'm thinking

As a sunday school teacher, I try to avoid doing the following, though I'm not always successful.

Subconscious trumps Reality at 3 am

I dreamt that we really needed to find someone to give a refrigerator and a dryer to. It was crucial that we do this, so when J woke me up to help take care of little Jack, I wanted to ask her who we should give these appliances to so I could figure it all out in my dream. I was stuck on that thought, and felt very anxious to resolve the problem...

The magic is gone:

Have you ever noticed when shopping somewhere where they print your savings on your receipt, that when the checker circles your savings they seemingly don't have a writing instrument in their hands. I noticed this all the time at Smith's. And every time it happened I would think, "Ah! They must have a pencil lead stuck to the end of their finger that they use to circle these things. Next time I come I'm going to pay closer attention and see if I can see how they hide that tiny pencil, or maybe even pen." But then the next time I would go, I'd forget until the magic occurred again. As it turns out (and this is something I've learned at work, because we circle savings on our receipts, after all at Seagull you never, and I mean NEVER pay full price...), receipt paper is made of carbon stuff that shows marks on it when pressure is applied, so the pressure from, say, a fingernail could leave what appeared to be a pencil or ink mark. 

Perhaps that's really more magic than the tiny writing thing taped to the finger. I mean, seriously, that would just be obvious. THIS, my friends, is true magic at work. Paper that doesn't require a pen!

Sometimes my kids say really funny things. 

Like Morgan (Mini #2) who says all his f's as s's, so the word funny is pronounced sunny.

It's so sunny!

I could do it

Remember a while ago, when I blogged about developing a phobia?

Well, I've decided that instead of developing a phobia, I should just focus on becoming obsessive compulsive about something.

I think it would be pretty easy to obsess about brushing my teeth. It's so satisfying to brush them, maybe I could always carry around a little toothbrush and some toothpaste wherever I go, and any time I eat, even if it's just a little snack or something, I could then run to a bathroom and brush my teeth.

Token

The other day I found the missing keys to my Chevy Lumina.

You may all stop praying for their safe return.

Thank you.

Another Friday

Lately I've been spending a lot of time online. But not reading blogs or anything important like that. No no, I've been submitting job applications and resumes.

I haven't been finding a whole lot of success (as evidenced by my still unemployed status), and I'm thinking it might be due to my not-so-impressive resume.

I need to spice it up.

So here's my idea (and thanks to Avram for the inspiration).

I have this book that is chalk full of ancient texts that make the Old Testament look both tame (see Judges) and nail-bitingly thrilling (much of Numbers).  These texts are mostly related to the monarchies of the Ancient Near East, and these old school kings knew how to embellish their qualifications.

For example, one text begins, "the treaty of Esarhaddon, king of the world, king of Assyria, son of Sennacherib, likewise king of the world ... etc."

Or there's the prologue to the Code of good ol' Hammurabi in which the king says that he was chosen to rule at the creation of the world:

"me, Hammurabi, the devout, god-fearing prince, 

to cause justice to prevail in the land,

to destroy the wicked and the evil,

that the strong might not oppress the weak,

to rise like the sun ...

and to light up the land.

Hammurabi, the shepherd, called by Enlil, am I;

the one who makes affluence and plenty abound, etc"

I just have my name listed on my resume. I need to add a title or list of my accomplishments like these guys.

Like

Brian, son of Richard, defender of the mini Holdinators, sent to eliminate all unhappiness and sorrow through my (whatever the job responsibilities of the particular business), wielder of the sword of foam (courtesy of Nerf) to lead out in the fight against shag carpet cruelty and eating of stale bread, etc...

Mightn't it work? Would you hire me?

What if I looked like this?

Mr. Hammurabi himself.

Setting For Lack of

First, I thought I'd check out the BCS standings out new today, so I googled "bcs standings" and the first hit was this article. What the...? The LA Times? 

Dude, that beating BYU gave UCLA must really have affected the psyches of the sports writers in Southern California if they're writing things like this.

Anyway.

profundity, in spite of its absurd sound and silly look, is in fact a word that denotes something full of deep meaning. Even if Microsoft Word or an English grad student doesn't recognize it (I have no idea if Word does or not).

But blogger (and wordpress for that matter) do not recognize this word:

dialogue

And why the heck not?

Hang on. Blogger's not putting little red dots under it. Time to investigate. 

brb

They both recognize it now. I have nothing to complain about.

They came around.

Good job blogging forces. Wait to recognize a key term in your existence.

And now for a cute picture:

This more than makes up for this post, doesn't it?

My Dad Did It

So why shouldn't I? Right? 

Wrong.

Adam West, But Just a Little

Here is a part of the thing I was hoping to post later (now). It's not the whole portion of the episode, but it was as much as I could find.

Without any further nonsense, NONSENSE!

I Wonder Why the Arts and Entertainment Firewall Does Not Block It...

Hey, have you seen Adam West's website?

I really really hope there will be more on this later.

Dude!

She's the coolest of the lot of them.

And she has brown eyes, like J.

But what was up with the question about prince charming? I'm a dude! Oh well.


You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?