Brian (2009 me): Have you ever noticed how Isiah Thomas's first name is spelled?
Elder Holdaway (1999 me): Huh?
Brian: Have you ever noticed the spelling of Isiah Thomas's first name? It shouldn't really be pronounced eye-zae-yah, it's more eye-zeeyah.
Elder Holdaway: Who are you?
Brian: I'm future you.
Elder Holdaway: No way. You're wearing a BYU tee-shirt.
Brian: Yep. I like to support my Alma Mater.
Elder Holdaway: Your what?
Brian: I graduated from BYU a couple years ago.
Elder Holdaway: But BYU's in Provo. You're supposed to be living in Orange County.
Brian: About that, um, nope. I have never lived in Orange County.
Elder Holdaway: Okay, then Venice, Santa Monica, or anywhere in Southern California?
Elder Holdaway: What happened? Where are Spencer and Aaron?
Brian: Spencer is applying for PhD programs and Aaron lives out east and works for the government. I think he's considering law school.
Elder Holdaway: (head explodes)
Brian: Here, no, it's okay. You never answered my question about Isiah Thomas. It's one of those names that you'd just assume is spelled like the common English spelling of the Biblical Isaiah, but it's not. Weird, huh? Of course the English spelling is so far from the actual sound of the Hebrew name, I guess it doesn't matter how you spell it. It's nothing like the name Joshua, even though the two mean basically the same thing, and it would be kind of funny to name one son Joshua and another Isaiah, secretly knowing that you've named them the same thing.
Elder Holdaway: You're weird. Since when have you cared about Isiah Thomas?
Brian: Since I got The Book of Basketball for Christmas.
Elder Holdaway: The what?
Brian: It's a book by an espn.com writer all about the NBA.
Elder Holdaway: Who gave you that?
Brian: My brother-in-law.
Elder Holdaway: Chris?
Brian: No, his name's Jared. He's Jessica's younger brother.
Elder Holdaway: Jessica?
Brian: My beautiful wife.
Elder Holdaway: You're married?
Brian: And daddy to three little boys.
Elder Holdaway: Wow, your music career must have really taken off.
Brian: Um, I haven't played the drums in two years.
Elder Holdaway: (if head hadn't exploded earlier, well, you know)
Elder Holdaway: So what else did you get for Christmas?
Brian: Stuff to decorate the sports room with. BYU stuff, Utah Jazz stuff, and a Colts' helmet decal. They were my fantasy defense for most the year, and treated me pretty well.
Elder Holdaway: I understood maybe half of that. You are 29 right, not 12?
Brian: Don't worry about it. You have ten years to figure it all out.
Elder Holdaway: I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure how I feel about you.
Brian: You'll get used to me. You'll figure out how fun it is to be a little geeky about something, like memorizing the testimonies from Special Witnesses, and from there you'll get this insatiable desire to be around and read from those who are a little over-the-top in their obsession with .... really whatever.
Elder Holdaway: I've gotta go.
1 year ago