Monday, December 12, 2011

Welcome Home! in which we chat, but it's different this time

[Recently Released] Elder Holdaway: Hi.

Me: Hi, how was the plane ride?

[RR] Elder Holdaway: I got to help out a mom with her young kids. That was pretty cool.

Me: Oh yeah, I remember that. Hey, so you got that letter last night, right?

[RR] Elder Holdaway: The one from Jessica Smith and Sara Nash?

Me: That's the one.

[RR} Elder Holdaway: Yeah, why?

Me: :D

[RR] Elder Holdaway: What?

Me: Enjoy your hot chocolate and cookies tomorrow night. I know I will.

[RR] Elder Holdaway: Um, ok.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Farewell? In which we talk again, maybe for the last time

Me: I had an interesting experience today.
Elder Holdaway: What was it?
Me: I helped a customer whose last name was Calton, and I took a shot in the dark, and asked if her husband had served as mission president in Michigan. She looked a little worried when she said that they had served there, and asked if I was one of their missionaries. I explained that I arrived six months after they left, and then... that was it I guess. It was just cool, though. Any little connection to the mission is still very thrilling.
Elder Holdaway: Yeah.
Me: How was zone conference yesterday?
Elder Holdaway: Incredible! And so emotional.
Me: Yup.
Elder Holdaway: President Church changing the closing hymn, Elder Pace's talk! Everything!
Me: I just read the journal entry about it. Wow, it's amazing to remember all those things.
Elder Holdaway: Yeah. It's so weird to be knowing that I'm going home in a few days.
Me: There is a lot I feel like I should tell you, but I guess it's all stuff you figure out. Maybe we'll talk again before you go.
Elder Holdaway: That mustache?
Me: That's one of those things you'll just have to figure out.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Saturday, November 19, 2011

So long, in which I'll be shaving now



The trip, the game, the time spent with my brothers... it was all awesome.

But the stache is gone today.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Question, in which I have one



Just out of curiosity, for the combover sporting man, how long does it take to grow out said combover? Five months at least, right? And what on earth do you do with the shock of hair you grow to cover your head in the time that it's not long enough to go from ear to ear? There's not really such a thing as half a combover? Or two thirds a combover, right?

It's all a mystery.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

More Existentialism, in which we meet again



Brian: Put 'er there, Elder.
Elder Holdaway: Gah! Bwahahahahaha!
Brian: What?
Elder Holdaway: Hahahahahaha!
Brian: Are you ok? What's wrong?
Elder Holdaway: Hahahahahaha!
Brian: :{/
Elder Holdaway: Hoohoohoo!
Brian: :{/
Elder Holdaway: Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha...
Brian: :{/
Elder Holdaway: Hee, hee, ah, oh, ah-ha...
Brian: You're in Okemos, now, right? Enjoy these last few weeks.
Elder Holdaway: Heh heh heh heh, Ah! Hahahahahahaha!
Brian: Another time, huh? Ok.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Unpredictability, in which this week is really exciting



If there is one thing the NFL is, it is totally unpredictable. The only two certainties this season are the best and the worst teams (Green Bay and Indy). Otherwise, anything can happen in any given game, like Arizona beating Philly, and Seattle beating Baltimore. Or a team with a quarterback who goes 2 of 8 winning. No really, 2 of 8!!

That quarterback, by the way, the one, the only, Tim Tebow. The same QB who has led his team (sort of) to two straight wins and has put the Broncos in contention for the AFC West Title. The same QB that I will be watching live this Thursday, as the Broncos take on the New York Jets (just lost to New England tonight).

This is going to be awesome.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Poser, in which I'm just pretending



Jack has somehow become convinced that because I have a mustache (or pushstache, as he says it), that I have been mysteriously and miraculously bestowed with the skills of the handy man. "You can fix our broken windows, because you have a pushstache," he tells me earnestly.

Poor Jack. What will he do when he figures out that I have unjustly taken upon me the persona of one who can do things?

Friday, November 11, 2011

Hey RJ! in which I make an obscure movie reference



Get out of my office! And take that ridiculous thing off!

7 Days, in which there is only one week left of this nonsense



My boss stopped by my store today. He almost fell over laughing when he saw me.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Fish Eye, in which I utilized Photobooth

Too Tired, in which I didn't do this last night



But the morning works too, I guess. The time change has me all messed up.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Intrigue, in which the game will be a good one



Congratulations to the Broncos and the Jets on their wins today. This means that each team might be playing for something (playoff berths?) in 11 days when they meet in Mile High Stadium.

Good news for the mustache brothers.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Contemplating, in which I'm considering looking like this all the time



Except that sometimes I have to use both my hands to do things... dang.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Styles, in Which There is no Debate



One of the questions regarding the growing of a mustache is, What kind of mustache will I grow?

I supposed I would just do the simple shave at the corners of my mouth, and let the stache do what it will. And I guess that's what I'm going with. The handlebar isn't my thing (not that any kind of mustache is my thing), and I wouldn't want to shave beyond around the corners of my mouth, because I want to avoid looking at all like an evil dictator.

Some people thin out their mustaches, shaving the area just below their noses, leaving a half a stache, but I don't think that's my style either.

So, for this brief experiment, I'm going with the most simple style.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Awe-struck, in which I meet Him



Hugh Nibley: It's still all foolishness. Complete foolishness, you see.

Me: Uh, hi.

Nibley: What? Who are you?

Me: Just, well, nobody. No! Wait, somebody. Oh, what clever response would impress you?

Nibley: Impress? Why would you want to impress me?

Me: Um... oh, hey, wait! Do you and Elder Maxwell and Truman Madsen do firesides, or whatever they would be called there, together?

Nibley: [Writing something on a notecard].

Me: I'll bet they're awesome.

Nibley: Let's get on with this, I'm certain there was something of terrible import for me to be sent to visit you.

Me: Well, it's just that, um, I'm nervous about people not taking me seriously. I'm growing this mustache, you see, and ...

Nibley: Take you seriously? My boy, I hope you don't take yourself serious. The gospel is serious business, more serious than I'll ever understand. You cannot take the gospel seriously and at the same time take yourself serious. The joke's on us, you see, I believe that now more than ever. Man is down there acting like he owns all that, giving offense, taking offense, taking it all into courtrooms to argue over property. Property! Ha! What does Man know of property? The meek, now there you go, we know what the meek are promised, and to be meek you must have a sense of the absurdity of all of that, and most especially of you.

Me: Ok.

Nibley: We are out of temporal time.

Me: Bye, Brother Nibley. It was nice to finally meet you.

Nibley: [Walking quickly away reading a manuscript.]

--But I'm pretty sure Nibley never wore a mustache.

Anxiousness, in which I consider the Reality before Me



Is anxiousness even a word? I probably should have said anxiety, but it's not so much anxiety as, simply, anxiousness.

Will people be able to take me seriously? I found myself asking this all day today, wondering if anyone noticed the slightly darker shade of stubble on my lip.

I'm confident nobody did.

But what about tomorrow? Or Thursday? It will be there, just THERE.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Stache, in which We are Growing Them



What is that? Josh's Mario mustache from his Halloween costume. But it reminds me, my mom is sending my brothers and me to an NFL game on November 17th. We are celebrating this in a number of ways, one of which will be by growing out our mustaches. From November 1st through the 17th our razors will ignore our upper lips, and we will no doubt be causing many people to feel uncomfortable around us.

But all in good fun!

So, to document the progress of the aforementioned mustache growing, I plan on blogging daily, including a picture showing all the hard work my stubble is putting in.



Here I am this evening. I shaved this morning, but NO MORE! At least not for the next 16 days.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Devastation in 140 Characters or Less, in which I Tweeted During that Game

Game time is here. My belly is full (too full), the kids are in bed, and I'm ready. Hopefully the Cougs are too.

I had kept up some irrational hopes that I would somehow end up going to the game tonight. Not so.

@LaurieAMeacham So you may as well root for the true team, the one your daughter aligns with.

Are you serious????

What was the penalty there?

No wonder I've been feeling nauseous. That was terrible, even turrrrible as Charles Barkley would say.

@tonyparks1320 He should hear about that awful play. Fall on the ball!

Let's see some high octane offense here. PLEASE.

Not a bad run. #JJ

Was that Hoffman? Really? Hooray!

Um, ...

Who did Bronco want to appease by wearing the polo shirt over the top of the gray t-shirt?

Nice little Chad Lewis leap from Kariya. 1st down.

Hmph!! #fumble #2

Destroy Wynn.

Cougar front 7 playing with emotion.

Nice hit DB's.

What did Kyle expect?

NO GOOD!!

@LaurieAMeacham Hey!

Grr. I would really REALLY like to see a deeper pass executed.

#JJ

#crap

That's more like it. #Heaps #Hoffman

That's it, Jake, run the show. #Heaps #Jacobson

Oh My!!! #Heaps #Hoffman Under pressure, that was amazing!

Late hit. Emotion...

NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!

C'mon D.

No first down here. Make 'em go 3 and out.

Still feeling sick; it won't go away until I see blue in the endzone.

Breakout game thus far for our friend #Hoffman.

This was the formula for success late last year. I like it.

Ooh, nasty.

Big J! #Justin #Sorenson

Weird, beautiful field goal and a shank kick off.

Good tackle #Ogletree

Turnover! Turn about, and all that.

Our resident Mad Man recovered it.

#Zed

This is my 1,000th tweet. And much like this drive coming off a turnover, #disappointment

Off topic, which arrogant, pretentious, despicable school do you more want to lose? Miami or Ohio State?

Nice hit, but Christopher hung onto the ball.

Utah's highly touted running back just, um, well, bwahaha!

Oh crap! Bailed out.

@DavidDJJames Yes, DJ, it was a bail out.

Stuffed. That's the BYU D we love.

Turn over on downs. Yeesh, let's see the offense do something here. That extended drive of Utah's should have given them sufficient rest.

Hey there's Hugh Nibley's favorite temple, on ESPN and everything.

Over the middle, to a tight end. #Holt

Cheap hit after the whistle. Whatever.

TOUCH FREAKIN' DOWN!!!! #APO #HEAPS

That is more like it. I'll say it again. That's more like it!

@LaurieAMeacham ?

The Utes have nightmares of a big tight end wearing #88 running over the middle.

@Lockedonsports You're exactly right. Two corrupt programs battling it out, there's nothing like it.

That was a big run, but he paid for it. Up ended.

Eason just wasn't expecting it to be right there. RIGHT THERE! So close.

@benbags Ha! Zing.

Van Noy!!

Jimmer sighting.

@LaurieAMeacham Ah, I see. Though I didn't notice it myself, I've been looking straight at the computer screen in between every play.

Go #JJ, hang on to that ball.

Fix yer jersey young man.

Too high. Hm, offense hasn't been able to capitalize on big defensive plays. Crap.

My goodness. BYU line backers and DB's flying all over the place.

Ceee-rap!

30 seconds and 2 time outs. Going for it?

Best garbage time punt ever.

Coverage on those tight ends needs to be sticky.

Put those flags away, officials. This is getting ridiculous.

Keep running the ball, Utes. It's really effective ... for the BYU D.

Holding, anyone? Anyone?

No bail out PI call? How come?

I am shocked, absolutely shocked (sincerely) that the officials did not call PI on Sorenson there. #officiatingisajoke

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am hopeful. Delusional, but hopeful

Bright spot? #Hoffman

Wow, this is getting way out of hand. Stop the run!

BYU's inspired defense took too many hits with penalty calls, they are playing tentative now.

Channel the 1980 Holiday Bowl mentality. Channel it dangit!

And ... why?

Why? WHY? WHYYYYY?????

Well, hm.

This has been completely unexpected.

@Lockedonsports Yes, I do demand answers.

@ScottyGKFAN Today is much worse than 2008. MUCH WORSE.

@AndrewAdamsKSL Only 6 turnovers? Is that really all?

Worst train wreck in the history of BYU football.

@laurieameacham yup. Awful.

I'm on my way to take Lewis to see Jessica. Did I change out of my byu shirt? Yes. Of course I did.

This is embarrassing.

@laurieameacham oy.

Will do, Laurie. I'll say it again, this was totally unexpected.

This just in, ticket prices for remaining byu games drop to record lows on stubhub.

Not about to be outdone by the BYU football team, my dog dropped a very large, very smelly pile of crap on our stairs overnight.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Toe Stubbing, in which it made me think of

Children have a very egocentric worldview. (A word of caution, I will not be looking up any term that I use to see if I am using it correctly. I'm feeling very lazy right now. I'm dealing with it, and you ought to as well.) Children think that anything that happens, anything that they are aware of happening anyway, happens as a direct result of something that they have done.

For example, it's raining outside, therefore they must have done something to make it rain, like spit too much or something.

I am a child, or am very childish. Probably that last one.

I stubbed my toe a few minutes ago, and my first thought was that I was being punished for something I had done wrong.

I did not (at least not immediately) consider that I might just be clumsy. Or that my big feet are prone to bumping into walls sometimes.

Not that my feet are really big. In fact, I would say that my feet are very average in size.

How do I know this?

I know people (men) who have feet that are bigger than mine, and other men who have feet that are smaller than mine.

So since my feet aren't big (like those I know with bigger feet) or small (like those I know with smaller feet), they must be average.

That's as far as my thinking went on this subject.

But earlier in a series of tweets I said something that may or may not be related:

Sometimes humor doesn't translate. Like when you give humor a book written in French and tell it that you would like to read the book in English. Thanks for nothing, humor.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

262 Things, in which I will list 262 things

1. I started this blog nearly four years ago
2. I had 2 children then
3. I have 4 children now
4. Joshua
5. Morgan
6. Jack
7. Lewis
8. I'm holding a sleeping Lewis with my left hand
9. I'm typing with only my right hand
10. This December will mark the tenth anniversary of the day Jessica and I met
11. Jack likes to laugh
12. A lot
13. Hysterically
14. Especially when he's tired
15. I thought the phrase "peachy keen" was "peachy king"
16. Until Jessica corrected me
17. Last month
18. I read a sports book for the first time in December 2009
19. The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons
20. I just finished another sports book
21. Those Guys Have All the Fun
22. It's about the history of ESPN
23. Yup, I'm a geek
24. But if you know me, then you already knew that
25. I really like the cheddar cheese bagels from the Smith's (grocery store) bakery
26. Especially if they are still warm
27. When I was 15 I permed my hair
28. I can't remember why
29. But I was not the only guy in my school to get a perm
30. A kid much bigger, tougher, and cooler than me did too
31. After I did
32. But probably not because I did
33. The book I'm reading right now has a 348 page chapter
34. Our house has been infested with earwigs
35. Our boys are fascinated with earwigs
36. Those two things might be related
37. No, I don't personally know any of the Vineyard Holdaways
38. Or the orthodontist
39. Every pair of Joshua's pants gets a hole in the left knee
40. But never the right knee
41. My cell phone is a flip phone
42. THAT'S RIGHT!
43. I have had it for nearly two years
44. It has survived a lot
45. Especially a lot of falls
46. From my lap when I get out of my car
47. My car?
48. 1995 Chevy Lumina
49. White (did they make any other colors?)
50. It's missing large chunks of paint
51. Just like most of its siblings on the road
52. Its left front fender is bent out of shape
53. Because its tire blew up on the freeway one day
54. That was the only time in my life I had a police escort
55. I was in a band called Kermit
56. And one called The Bilge
57. And one called Rash
58. And one called Replace My Divot
59. And one called The Rasta Smurfs
60. And one called Cute Band Alert
61. And one called The Bob and Tom Show
62. And one called Eleven Seas
63. And others whose names I can't remember
64. Or they never had names
65. Oh! and a band that never practiced called Funny Little Finger Thing
66. I have a thing with loose teeth
67. I have heard medical personnel talk about putting patients on something called Rheummer
68. It turns out they were just saying "room air"
69. As in the patient is not on oxygen anymore
70. A number of my friends have law degrees
71. It's difficult knowing whether or not something I'm writing is really keeping with the spirit of my online persona
72. I have an online persona
73. I once introduced myself to someone as my online persona
74. Ten years ago I was on the last stretch of my mission
75. I served in Michigan
76. Specifically in Lansing
77. Jackson
78. Another part of Jackson
79. Grand Haven
80. North Muskegon
81. Harrison
82. The Mission Office in East Lansing
83. Okemos
84. And I served with Elder Hall (MTC)
85. Elder Staker
86. Elder Sanders
87. Elder Nelson
88. Elder Gregersen
89. Elder Merrit
90. Elder Henrie
91. Elder Ashby
92. Elder Peterson
93. Elder Olson
94. Elder Hatch
95. Elder Leavitt
96. Elder Anderson
97. Elder Boyle
98. Elder Munoa
99. Elder Eales
100. Elder Fagg
101. Yup, 17 companions
102. Elder Staker was my longest companion
103. We served together for 14 weeks
104. He is one of my friends who has a law degree
105. Our answering machine in our Lansing apartment as the source of great entertainment
106. I'm still typing this with only my right hand
107. Even though I took a break for a few hours
108. People are setting off lots of fireworks in our neighborhood
109. I used to be able to see the Timpanogos Temple from my front porch
110. I can't see it anymore
111. I think it's because trees have grown in the way
112. I start lots of things that I don't finish
113. There is a good chance I won't finish this list
114. Our yard is really big
115. A third of an acre
116. It seemed like a good idea at the time
117. Our sprinkler system is broken
118. Eye sore=my backyard
119. Jessica and I like to watch 30 Rock
120. And Burn Notice
121. And White Collar
122. I almost went to Toronto once
123. On accident
124. I wasn't the one driving
125. As a missionary, I came to love a breakfast of yogurt and bagels
126. That's what we ate at the mission home
127. I studied Hebrew in college
128. I should study Hebrew more often now
129. What is more often than never?
130. Lewis takes a bottle better than any of our other kids
131. I would look weird with a mustache
132. Few people wouldn't look weird with a mustache
133. Replacing a garbage disposal can make it seem like your dishwasher is broken
134. Unless you think to knock out the drain cover thing
135. The number 134 will always make me think of "I Believe in Christ"
136. Elder Staker used to read sections of Mormon Doctrine to me over the intercom of our phone
137. From one room in the apartment to another
138. Not long ago, cassette tapes were widely used for things
139. I looked like a little boy when Joshua was born
140. Josh was born in March 2004
141. So I was 23 when Josh was born
142. I was a little boy when Josh was born
143. My best estimate is that I taught somewhere around 1,000 missionaries in 2 1/2 years at the MTC
144. The audacity
145. In a lot of ways, I feel bad for Joshua
146. We just don't know what we are doing with him
147. At least with the other kids we have a small idea
148. Maybe just a slice of an idea
149. I think magazine subscriptions are funny
150. Not the subscriptions themselves, but the lengths to which magazines will go to get you to subscribe
151. I subscribed to Sports Illustrated to get a jacket
152. The subscription cost 20 dollars for a year, and that included the jacket
153. They want me to renew, but I'm not going to
154. I'm not sure which of us got ripped off
155. I am a big fan of morning sunlight
156. I am also a big fan of morning mist
157. And morning snowfall
158. I am now typing this using two hands
159. I learned how to type in high school
160. I am really glad I learned how to type in high school
161. I have three days off this week
162. Seagull is an extremely cool company, because we close our stores on a lot of holidays
163. Like Pioneer Day, we were closed on Monday in honor of Pioneer Day
164. I nearly accepted a job with US Bank
165. But instead, I accepted a job with Seagull Book
166. Sometimes I can be a smart cookie
167. I wonder when Tina Fey's character from 30 Rock is going to marry a Mr. Swindle
168. And fulfill her true calling as a painter of religious art
169. Tonight at Walmart it was curtains for me
170. And bread, milk, and dog food
171. And one of those lamps that you can clip onto a bed
172. Because Joshua likes to read in bed
173. He especially likes to read Garfield
174. I really liked reading Garfield as a kid
175. I had collected all of the Garfield books up to the current one in print
176. 20 years later, Jim Davis is still writing a daily strip
177. Wow, that's a lot of comic strips
178. I started this post six days ago
179. My favorite comic strip now is Dilbert
180. I understand there are some pretty good online comics
181. I can't get myself to be very interested in online comics
182. It's not that I can relate to Dilbert at all
183. I am not an engineer
184. I don't work in an office
185. My boss is fantastic
186. My employer (as in, Seagull Book) is just a great company
187. I rarely see more than one co-worker at a time
188. I attend meetings once, maybe twice a year
189. Though the meetings are 3 days long
190. But comparitively, I have no room for complaint
191. So, you see, my professional life is not at all like Dilbert's
192. My professional life is a little more like Jim's Journal
193. Jim worked at a copy store
194. At our house, we don't like thinking about what to eat
195. This makes meal time kind of hard
196. But we eventually find something
197. I don't like fruity candy very much
198. I like fruit, but I don't like sticky fingers
199. So I like to be able to wash my hands immediately after eating fruit
200. I think this supplement I'm taking expired in June of 2008
201. I bought it about a month ago
202. How is it that a supplement can expire?
203. I am the only person in my [parents'] family who has not been to Europe
204. The furthest away from Utah I have ever traveled is somewhere in Michigan
205. I say somewhere in Michigan, because I've been all over the lower penninsula
206. I don't know which of those locations is technically furthest away from Utah
207. I have not been back to Michigan since my mission
208. They (whoever they are) say you can't go back
209. I don't doubt that is true in my case
210. I could visit there, but it would be very different than when I was a missionary
211. Sunlight makes me happy
212. In 1999 I took a road trip
213. With Aaron and Spencer
214. We took Aaron's car
215. It was a brown Pontiac, or Oldsmobile
216. Or something like that, with a long bench seat in front
217. That's why we didn't take my car
218. A 1989 Mazda 323
219. We needed the bench seat in the front
220. Because all three of us sat in the front seat
221. In August
222. Driving to Phoenix
223. Without air conditioning
224. There was no working radio
225. Well, installed into the dashboard anyway
226. We had a working boom box
227. We played CDs in this boom box
228. And held it on our laps
229. There was a meteor shower on the way down
230. Oh, we all had to sit in front because our guitars and drums took up the trunk and back seat
231. Spencer had a blue mohawk
232. Aaron had pink hair
233. We made my sister really nervous when we showed up unannounced
234. This morning I stood in a breakfast buffet line across from Sheri Dew
235. She doesn't care for bacon
236. If you are still reading this, I apologize
237. My cell phone is no longer a flip phone
238. They call it smart
239. Baby Lewie is not very sleepy right now
240. I wish he was sleepy
241. We watched the Phineas and Ferb movie as a family tonight
242. It had some good moments
243. It was presented in "spectacular 2D"
244. That was one of its good moments
245. My left arm is falling asleep at the elbow
246. Another good moment was when Perry the Platypus peed on Dr. Doofenshmirtz's couch
247. And when Ferb actually said the words, "Well, he did pee on his couch."
248. I really like the smell of baking bread
249. And the taste of fresh baked bread
250. We don't have any flour to make bread right now
251. We are also out of potatoes, baby carrots, and orange juice
252. I need to go grocery shopping
253. That would also require making a shopping list
254. Let's see, beans, cheese, tomato sauce...
255. And diced potatoes (preferrably frozen)
256. Morgan didn't like the shredded potatoes I served him for breakfast this morning
257. I recently began writing with pencil
258. A classic yellow number 2 pencil
259. There is something very satisfying about that
260. I like eating refridgerated Twix bars
261. Especially the caramel ones
262. Though Peanut Butter Twix are my favorite candy bar

Jack's suggestion, in which he says this after eating the bread in Sacrament Meeting

I need butter.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Manly Man, in which I'm Not One

There is standing water in the bottom of our dishwasher.

Now, if you're like me, you need someone to point this fact out to you, and you also need that same someone to inform you that it is probably not ok to go ahead and run another load of dishes when the dishwasher is in such a state.

It became necessary for me to do what any befuddled and over matched home owner would do in a situation like this.

Google. (Actually, I didn't google it, Jessica did.)

From the internets I learned that sometimes standing water in the bottom of a dishwasher can be solved by thoroughly soaking up the water, removing a number of parts, and using a combination of baking soda (SODA! not powder, I now have a large can of baking powder that will be thrown away in a couple years) and vinegar. Homemade, dishwasher safe, Drano, or something.

The same web page informed me that if this solution doesn't do the job after multiple treatments, my dishwasher has bigger problems. Mechanical problems. Problems that require someone with the title "Technician" to come and solve.

Or maybe perhaps it just means it's time for a new dishwasher... (wishful thinking)

Over Memorial Day weekend, Jessica's dad busied himself with remodeling her parents' home and adding a wall in their basement to create another bedroom. My sons were understandably fascinated, even enthralled with the project. Well, I guess not all of my sons; Lewis is mostly enthralled with eating and pooping right now. But the others, especially Morgan, were entertained for hours watching and, ahem! helping their grandpa with this project.

At one point, Morgan said to Grandpa, "You are really good at building things. My dad isn't good at building things." Then, after thinking it over, he said, "He's good at laundry and dishes."

Which, I guess, considering the state of our one kitchen appliance, isn't such a bad thing.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sensitivities, in Which Morgan Feels Sad

"Come watch this, Dad. Mario dies."

So I walk over to the computer to see what Josh is talking about. It's one of his online games that he plays, based on Super Mario Brothers. This game ends with a (very pixelated) video of Luigi walking up to a grave, and on the headstone is a picture of Mario with the caption: Mario, Brother, Friend, HERO. Luigi has tears in his eyes, and he places a picture of he and Mario on the grave. That one song from Titanic plays in the background.

I watched with him, and Morgan and Jack were there too. Jack laughed as loud as he could, as he is wont to do at something he doesn't understand. But Morgan watched quietly and then turned himself into the crook where the desk meets the wall, and covered his face with his hands. I pulled him to me and he had huge crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks. I just held him and let him cry.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Word Problem, in which Josh Does his Homework

"Max had 17 pennies. He used 5 pennies to buy a toy. How many pennies does Max have left?"

Josh's response: "5 pennies? What kind of toy could he get for 5 cents?"

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bartering, in which we talk again

Me: Hey, um, well, that new drumset I had? Well, I sold it.

Elder Holdaway: I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. You've changed too much.

Me: I had to. It was collecting dust, well, I mean that the blanket covering it was collecting dust. I couldn't ever play it without it being commandeered by one of the kids.

Elder Holdaway: Whatever.

Me: It's all good, though. I moved an excersie machine in its place, so now I can stay healthy... and things. These things are important when you're 30.

Elder Holdaway: You are an old man.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Not for this One, in which I Blogged Elsewhere

If you care at all about BYU Basketball, and the Jimmerfest that is happening right now, then you can read my very wordy take on it over here.

If you don't care about BYU Basketball, well, that's why I didn't blog about it here.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Mood, in which I'm in One

They call me mellow yellow.

Quite...

It's more citrus-y than Mt. Dew.

Wendover commercials drive me crazy. I've never been there, and heaven willing, will never have to go there. I don't need a rev-rev-rev-rev-revolution.

As has been noted elsewhere, we are expecting a fourth mini-Holdinator. Josh has suggested his name of choice: Wood Breaker. When I mentioned the one Jess and I have been discussing, he expressed displeasure.

I guess we could use this list.

(My vote would be for Joe (beard))

But, you say, I thought that you were in retirement.

I think I used the conditional term semi-

And if I didn't, I intended to. So there. Most of these thoughts are less than 140 characters, by the way.

Morgan has a shiner. I don't have a picture of it, but it was the result of a dressing accident (why wouldn't it be?). It's hard to stay balanced when your pants are only half-on and you're trying to twist/jump/run because that's what you do. And if there's a metal garbage can nearby, well, watch out.



I don't remember what their malady was here, but they sure are cute.

It's probably not good form to make two observations about commercials in one post, but any commercial that includes slowly rotating people, especially with shiny faces and mullets, ought to not be on TV.