We've got some fruit trees in our backyard. There's an apricot tree that drops all its fruit just before it goes ripe, a peach tree that produces two good peaches a year and 500 rotten ones, a pear tree (or maybe two I forget), and two apple trees. This year one of the apple trees did really well (no thanks to me, I only watered the lawn half the summer as J will tell you).
But anyway, we've got an abundance of apples. So the other night I thought I would use some of these apples to add a little crunch to one of my favorite things.I give you the apple quesadilla.This guy approved. J had me make her a quesadilla with peanut butter and bananas. But without the cheese maybe it's not so much a quesadilla as a pbbdilla. How did I not know about this? For most of my life I had no idea that such a beautiful and wonderful thing existed. I somehow survived two years as a missionary eating melted cheese on a tortilla done in the microwave... without anything else. All I had to do to make it a million times better was mix some salsa and sour cream together. This guy opted for something entirely different. Pasta Alfredo with broccoli. He mostly likes that broccoli. The point is, we have lots and lots of apples if you're hungering for some.
Lately I've been spending a lot of time online. But not reading blogs or anything important like that. No no, I've been submitting job applications and resumes.
I haven't been finding a whole lot of success (as evidenced by my still unemployed status), and I'm thinking it might be due to my not-so-impressive resume.
I need to spice it up.
So here's my idea (and thanks to Avram for the inspiration).
I have this book that is chalk full of ancient texts that make the Old Testament look both tame (see Judges) and nail-bitingly thrilling (much of Numbers). These texts are mostly related to the monarchies of the Ancient Near East, and these old school kings knew how to embellish their qualifications.
For example, one text begins, "the treaty of Esarhaddon, king of the world, king of Assyria, son of Sennacherib, likewise king of the world ... etc."
Or there's the prologue to the Code of good ol' Hammurabi in which the king says that he was chosen to rule at the creation of the world:
"me, Hammurabi, the devout, god-fearing prince,
to cause justice to prevail in the land,
to destroy the wicked and the evil,
that the strong might not oppress the weak,
to rise like the sun ...
and to light up the land.
Hammurabi, the shepherd, called by Enlil, am I;
the one who makes affluence and plenty abound, etc"
I just have my name listed on my resume. I need to add a title or list of my accomplishments like these guys.
Brian, son of Richard, defender of the mini Holdinators, sent to eliminate all unhappiness and sorrow through my (whatever the job responsibilities of the particular business), wielder of the sword of foam (courtesy of Nerf) to lead out in the fight against shag carpet cruelty and eating of stale bread, etc...
This is my Jerry Sloan face. It needs some work, but I think it's pretty good.
I shaved three days in a row this last week. It had something to do with job interviews. I may still get offered one of those jobs, but the other one won't work out because I failed a sales proficiency test that asked questions such as, "Do you like to force people into decisions they may not want to make?"
At least 20 questions were very similar to that, and I answered no when if I wanted the job I should have said yes.
Just before getting the phone call informing me that I didn't get said job, we went to this place with big inflatable toys that even I was allowed to play on. It was awesome, and totally exhausting. This is me and Mini #1 after playing at this place.
Then this morning it was 59 degrees in our house because someone, probably a very small someone, shut off the furnace. There's a switch on the furnace unit in our bedroom closet/utility closet, and Mini #2 really likes to play with that switch.
Incidentally, he also likes to play with the thermostat on the water heater which is also in the same closet (we try to keep him out of there, but sometimes he sneaks in quickly and does his business before we realize what happened). Thanks to his interest in the water heater this morning, after trying to warm up a little in our chilly house, I took a very chilly shower because the water heater was turned all the way down past the "vacation" setting.
Mini #1 likes to pick seeded dandy lions and make wishes as he blows the seeds off:
"I wish for a powerful mask."
And tonight after praying that my phone would work (it's not been having problems, but I guess it's a good precautionary measure), he prayed, "And bless that we can go to the store and get stuff... for me. Bless that I can get a powerful mask."
The problem is, though, that we're not sure what he means by "powerful mask." What do you think this powerful mask is?