Maybe I Need To Make Another Mixed CD

Most radio commercials don't really bother me. I'd really rather be listening to a song or the news or whatever, but for the most part commercials don't make me want to rant on a blog.

HEY!!!! MAYBE THIS IS MY NEW PET PEEVE! WHOOO-HOOO!

There are three commercials right now, though, that, well, I have issues with.

First, the one for Green THP or whatever the stuff is. I'm fine with people promoting products that may or may not be good for my health. But I draw the line at a ridiculous testimonial about the effectiveness of the product from ... wait for it, THE FOUNDER OF THE DANG COMPANY! "Hi, this is John, founder of the Green THP store, and I'm proud to report that drinking one glass of Green THP helped me lose sixty pounds in four months. I found that it specifically helped me target belly fat... blah blah blah, stuff about it lowering cholesterol, developing the ability to fly, etc." I'm pretty sure that one of the things to be wary of in advertising is a testimonial, but when it comes from the founder of the company! What is he going to say? "Hi this is John. I started this company to try and gouge hundreds of dollars out of people because of their insecurities. I hate the taste of the stuff, but if I can get you to believe it will help you lose weight, I know you'll buy it."

Second, from a window company, "There's an old saying: 'The despair of poor quality remains long after the joy of a good price.'" I may have paraphrased there a little, but it really doesn't matter, because the point is that the dude's "old saying" has the feel of a saying he just made up to try and sell his more expensive product. I expect an old saying to have a sort of proverb-feel to it, to be quippy (at least), or to at least be memorable enough for me to remember it word-for-word for an hour. An "old saying" like this guy's lasts about 8 words too long, and makes me want to shop for windows with someone else.

OK, lastly this one's more funny than anything. It doesn't bother me as much as the others. For Knee Shorts Company, the owner says something like this, "Knee Shorts is committed to remain steadfast in its commitment to yer standards." Two things, first, the word "steadfast." Only in Utah, and only among Mormons, would people hear this word in a radio commercial and not think who is this lady, and what century is she from? Second, she doesn't make any effort to pronounce the word "your" with the ou sound in the middle. I love that.

I suppose I'm done now.

(Products are probably the registered trademarks of their respective companies.)